Hey, we're not real critics... Those other guys get paid to watch movies for two hours a day and are called critics. We, on the other hand, must work ten hours a day, rarely have time to see movies, and are therefore called bozos. This is our list. Never underestimate the truly inspired genius of a bozo -- witness Bob Barker's nomination as Best Supporting Actor below. Since we don't have time to see that many movies, I've reduced the list from Top Ten to Top Five. Click here to submit your entry and I'll add it to this list. Thanks... Bozos' Gallery (click on a name to see their picks) Sugi Sorensen Mark Davidson Rolando Gonzalez Ned Daigle C. Campbell Mark Campbell Sean Michael Henry ??? (dakota@vicon.net) Mark Takacs Marina Heye William Nelson Keith Thoms Larry Stevens Alan Ping Brian Skutle Dennis Miller   The Bozos' Best Movies of 1996 (Part I)... Category Sugi Sorensen C. Campbell Mark Takacs Larry Stevens Keith Thoms Mark Davidson Marina Heye Multimedia Developer Jet Propulsion Laboratory School of Visual Arts Programmer Netscape Senior Software Engineer Jet Propulsion Laboratory   McGraw-Hill Microbrewer University of Texas at Austin Best Movie 1. Shine 2. Secrets & Lies 3. Fargo 4. Nelly et Mr. Around 5. Jerry Maguire 1. City of Lost Children 2. Big Night 3. Breaking the Waves 4. Welcome to the Dollhouse 5. The People vs. Larry Flynt 1. Bound 2. Scream 3. Swingers 4. Happy Gilmore 5. Moll Flanders 1. Secrets & Lies 2. Shine 3. The English Patient 4. Breaking the Waves 5. Trainspotting 1. Fargo 2. The People vs. Larry Flynt 3. Shine 4. Bound 5. Lone Star 1. Caught 2. Lone Star 3. Secrets & Lies 4. Fargo 5. Beautiful Girls 1. The People vs. Larry Flynt 2. Fargo 3. Mars Attacks! 4. Jerry Maguire 5. Primal Fear Best Director 1. Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies) 2. Scott Hicks (Shine) 3. Joel Coen (Fargo) 4. Andy and Larry Wachowski (Bound) 5. Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire) 1. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting) 2. Todd Solondz (Welcome to the Dollhouse) 3. Jean-Pierre Jeunet/Marc Caro (City of Lost Children) 4. Joel Coen (Fargo) 5. Milos Foreman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Andy & Larry Wachowski (Bound) 3.Wes Craven (Scream) 4. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting) 1. Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) 2. Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies) 3. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting) 4. Scott Hicks (Shine) 5. Joel Coen (Fargo) 1. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 2. Joel Coen (Fargo) 3. Scott Hicks (Shine) 4. Alan Parker (Evita) 5. Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire) 1. Robert M. Young (Caught) 2. Mike Leigh (Secrets and Lies) 3. John Sayles (Lone Star) 4. Russ Hexter (Dadetown) 5. Joel Coen (Fargo) 1. Tim Burton (Mars Attacks!) 2. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Harry Selick (James and the Giant Peach) 4. Joel Coen (Fargo) 5. Jim Mallon (MST3K) Best Actor 1. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 2. Timothy Spall (Secrets & Lies) 3. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 4. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 5. Michel Serrault (Nelly et Monsieur Arnaud) 1. Woody Harrelson (The People v Larry Flynt) 2. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 3. Hugh O'Connor (Young Poisoner's Handbook) 4. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 5. Ewan McGregor (Trainspotting) 1. Adam Sandler (Bulletproof, Happy Gilmore) 2. WIllam H. Macy (Fargo) 3. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 4. Will Smith (Independence Day) 5. Nicholas Cage (The Rock) 1. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 2. William H. Macy (Fargo) 3. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 4. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 5. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 1. Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 2. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 3. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 4. Eddie Murphy (The Nutty Professor) 5. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 1. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 2. Woody Harrelson (The People v Larry Flynt) 3. Stece Buscemi (Trees Lounge) 4. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 5. Eddie Murphy (The Nutty Professor) 1. Woody Harrelson (The People v Larry Flynt) 2. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 3. Bruce Willis (12 Monkeys) 4. Mel Gibson (Ransom) 5. Liam Neeson (Michael Collins) Best Actress 1. Nicole Kidman (The Protrait of a Lady) 2. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 3. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 4. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 5.   1. Lilly Taylor (I Shot Andy Warhol) 2. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 3. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 4. Laura Dern (Citizen Ruth) 5. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 1. Jennifer Tilly/ Gina Gershon (Bound) 2. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 3. Neve Campbell (Scream) 4. Robin Wright (Moll Flanders) 5. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 1. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 2. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 3. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 4. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 5. Nicole Kidman (The Portrait of a Lady) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Madonna (Evita) 4. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 5. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Maria Conchita Alonzo (Caught) 3. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 4. Laura Dern (Citizen Ruth) 5. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Geena Davis(The Long Kiss Goodnight) 4. Jennifer Jason-Leigh (Kansas City) 5. Renee Zellweger (Jerry Maguire) Best Supporting Actor 1. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 2. Noah Taylor (Shine) 3. Armin Mueller Stahl (Shine) 4. William H. Macy (Fargo) 5. Joe Pantoliano (Bound) 1. Chris Penn (The Funeral) 2. Armin Mueller Stahl (Shine) 3. Tony Schulub (Big Night) 4. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 5. Stephen Dorff (I Shot Andy Warhol) 1. Samuel L. Jackson (The Long Kiss Goodnight) 2. Ed Harris (The Rock) 3. Cheech Marin (Tin Cup) 4. Bob Barker (Happy Gilmore) 5.   1. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 2. Timothy Spall (Secrets & Lies) 3. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 4. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 5.   1. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 2. Willam H. Macy (Fargo) 3. Armin Mueller-Stahl (Shine) 4. Antonio Banderas (Evita) 5. Edward Norton () 1. Steve Schub (Caught) 2. Michael Rappaport (Beautiful Girls) 3. Noah Taylor (Shine) 4. Kris Kristofersen (Lone Star) 5.   1. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 2. Edward Norton (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 4. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 5. William H. Macy (Fargo) Best Supporting Actress 1. Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Secrets & Lies) 2. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 3. Renee Zellwegger (Jerry Maguire) 4. Katrin Cartlidge (Breaking the Waves) 5.   1. Natalie Portman (Beautiful Girls) 2.   3.   4.   5.   1. Jennifer Aniston (She's the One) 2. Maggie Cheung (Super Cop) 3. Meg Ryan (Courage Under Fire) 4.   5.   1. Liv Tyler (Heavy) 2. Elizabeth Pena (Lone Star) 3. Juliet Binoche (The English Patient) 4. Joan Allen (The Crucible) 5. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 1. Juliette Binoche (The English Patient) 2. Renee Zellweger (Jerry Maguire) 3. Lauren Bacall (The Mirror Has Two Faces) 4. Kate Winslet (Hamlet) 5. Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Secrets & Lies) 1. Chloe Sevigny (Trees Lounge) 2. Juliette Binoche (The English Patient) 3. Gina Gershon (Bound) 4. Lily Tomlin (Flirting with Disaster) 5. Christine Taylor (A Very Brady Sequel) 1. Rachel True (The Craft) 2. Rosie O'Donnell (Beautiful Girls) 3. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 4. Bonnie Hunt (Jerry Maguire) 5. Madeline Stowe (12 Monkeys) The Bozos' Best Movies of 1996 (Part II)... Category Alan Ping Rolando Gonzalez Sean Michael Henry William Nelson Brian Skutle Ned Daigle dakota@vicon.net University of California, Berkeley University of Texas at Austin Student North Kansas City High School Student University of Wisconsin, Madison Georgia State University     Best Movie 1. Fargo 2. Secrets & Lies 3. Breaking the Waves 4. The Crucible 5. Welcome to the Dollhouse 1. Scream 2. Fargo 3. Shine 4. Trainspotting 5. Palookaville 1. The Crucible 2. Fargo 3. Mars Attacks! 4. The Frighteners 5. Hamlet 1. Fargo 2. The English Patient 3. The People vs. Larry Flynt 4. Lone Star 5. Shine 1. Ransom 2. Fargo 3. Big Night 4. Trees Lounge 5. Swingers 1. The Crucible 2. Fargo 3. I Shot Andy Warhol 4. The People vs. Larry Flynt 5. Welcome to the Dollhouse 1. Fargo 2. Trainspotting 3. Secrets & Lies 4. Jerry Maguire 5. Sling Blade Best Director 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies) 3. Nicholas Hytner (The Crucible) 4. Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet) 5. Woody Allen (Everyone Says I Love You) 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Scott Hicks (Shine) 3. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 4. Wes Craven (Scream) 5. Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies) 1. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting) 2. Joel Coen (Fargo) 3. Peter Jackson (The Frighteners) 4. Tim Burton (Mars Attacks!) 5. Tom Hanks (That Thing You Do) 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) 3. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 4. John Sayles (Lone Star) 5. Scott Hicks (Shine) 1. Ron Howard (Ransom) 2. Joel Coen (Fargo) 3. Jan De Bont (Twister) 4. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 5. Stanley Tucci and Campbell Scott (Big Night) 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Nicolas Hytner (The Crucible) 4. Alan Parker (Evita) 5. Todd Solondz (Welcome to the Dollhouse) 1. Joel Coen (Fargo) 2. Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) 3. Danny Boyle (Trainspotting) 4. Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire) 5. Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies) Best Actor 1. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 2. William H. Macy (Fargo) 3. Daniel Day Lewis (The Crucible) 4. Ewan McGregor (Trainspotting) 5. Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet) 1. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 2. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 3. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 4. Daniel Day Lewis (The Crucible) 5. Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 1. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 2. Eddie Murphy (The Nutty Professor) 3. Richard Gere (Primal Fear) 4. Ewan McGregor (Trainspotting) 5. Michael J. Fox (The Freighteners) 1. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 2. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 3. Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet) 4. Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 5. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 1. Mel Gibson (Ransom) 2. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 3. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 4. Geoffrey Rush (Shine) 5. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 1. Daniel Day-Lewis (The Crucible) 2. Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) 3. Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 4. William H. Macy (Fargo) 5. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 1. William H. Macy (Fargo) 2. Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) 3. Denzel Washington (Courage Under Fire) 4. Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire) 5. Woody Harrelson (The People vs. Larry Flynt) Best Actress 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 3. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 4. Winona Ryder (The Crucible) 5. Madonna (Evita) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Juliette Binoche (The English Patient) 3. Lili Taylor (I Shot Andy Warhol) 4. Winona Ryder (The Crucible) 5. Neve Campbell (Scream) 1. Joan Allen (The Crucible) 2. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 3. Kristin Scott-Thomas (The English Patient) 4. Janeane Garofalo (The Truth About Cats and Dogs) 5. Kate Beckinsale (Cold Comfort Farm) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 4. Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) 5. Kristin Scott Thomas (The English Patient) 1. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 2. Gwyneth Paltrow (Emma) 3. Rene Russo (Tin Cup) 4. Debbie Reynolds (Mother) 5. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 1. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 2. Madonna (Evita) 3. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 4. Winona Ryder (The Crucible) 5. Lili Taylor (I Shot Andy Warhol) 1. Brenda Blethyn (Secrets & Lies) 2. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 3. Lili Taylor (I Shot Andy Warhol) 4. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 5. Nicole Kidman (The Portrait of a Lady) Best Supporting Actor 1. Paul Scofield (The Crucible) 2. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 3. Chris Penn (The Funeral) 4. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 5. Derek Jacobi (Hamlet) 1. James Woods (Ghost of Mississippi) 2. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 3. Matthew Lillard (Scream) 4. Harold Perrineau Jr. (William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet) 5. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 1. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 2. Stephen Fry (Cold Comfort Farm) 3. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 4. Steve Zahn (That Thing You Do!) 5. William H. Macy (Fargo) 1. Edward Norton (Primal Fear/The People vs. Larry Flynt/Everyone Says I Love You) 2. William H. Macy (Fargo) 3. Noah Taylor (Shine) 4. Armin-Mueller Stahl (Shine) 5. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 1. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 2. Gary Sinise (Ransom) 3. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 4. Samuel L. Jackson (A Time to Kill) 5. William H. Macy (Fargo) 1. Jeffrey Combs (The Frighteners) 2. Jared Harris (I Shot Andy Warhol) 3. Bill Murray (Kingpin) 4. Edward Norton (Primal Fear) 5. Paul Scofield (The Crucible) 1. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 2. Armin Mueller-Stahl (Shine) 3. Dwight Yokan (Slign Blade) 4. Steve Buscemi (Fargo) 5. Matt Dillon (Beautiful Girls) Best Supporting Actress 1. Joan Allen (The Crucible) 2. Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Secrets & Lies) 3. Katrin Cartlidge (Breaking the Waves) 4. Kate Winslet (Hamlet) 5. Drew Barrymore (Scream) 1. Meg Ryan (Courage Under Fire) 2. Kelly Preston (Citizen Ruth) 3. Natalie Portman (Beautiful Girls) 4. Frances McDormand (Palookaville) 5. Rose McGowan (Scream) 1. Renee Zellweger (Jerry Maguire) 2. Alice Krige (Star Trek: First Contact) 3. Natalie Portman (Mars Attacks!/Beautiful Girls) 4. Tea Leoni (Flirting with Disaster) 5. Winona Ryder (The Crucible) 1. Joan Allen (The Crucible) 2. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 3. Kate Winslet (Hamlet) 4. Lauren Bacall (The Mirror Has Two Faces) 5. Juliette Binoche (The English Patient) 1. Natalie Portman (Beautiful Girls) 2. Meg Ryan (Courage Under Fire) 3. Chloe Sevigny (Trees Lounge) 4. Juliette Binoche (The English Patient) 5. Minnie Driver (Big Night) 1. Joan Allen (The Crucible) 2. Stockard Channing (Moll Flanders) 3. Deborah Harry (Heavy) 4. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 5. Kate Winslet (Hamlet) 1. Barbara Hershey (The Portrait of a Lady) 2. Renee Zellwegger (Jerry Maguire) 3. Kristin Scott-Thomas (The English Patient) 4. Lili Taylor (Girls' Town) 5. Rene Russo (Ransom) The Bozos' Best Movies of 1996 (Part III)... Category Dennis Miller Graduate Student Texas A&M University Best Movie 1. The Birdcage 2. Everyone Says I Love You 3. Fargo 4. Fly Away Home 5. The People vs. Larry Flynt Best Director 1. Woody Allen (Everyone Says I Love You) 2. Joel Coen (Fargo) 3. Brian DePalma (Mission: Impossible) 4. Milos Forman (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 5. Mike Nichols (The Birdcage) Best Actor 1. Albert Brooks (Mother) 2. Gene Hackman (The Birdcage) 3. Jason Patric (Sleepers) 4. Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: First Contact) 5. Robin Williams (The Birdcage) Best Actress 1. Cher (Faithful) 2. Courtney Love (The People vs. Larry Flynt) 3. Frances McDormand (Fargo) 4. Anna Pacquin (Fly Away Home) 5. Debbie Reynolds (Mother) Best Supporting Actor 1. Tim Curry (Muppet Treasure Island) 2. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire) 3. Nathan Lane (The Birdcage) 4. Bill Murray (Kingpin) 5. Edward Norton (The People vs. Larry Flynt) Best Supporting Actress 1. Drew Barrymore (Eveyone Says I Love You) 2. Annette Benning (Mars Attacks!) 3. Minnine Driver (Sleepers) 4. Vanessa Redgrave (Mission: Impossible) 5. Diane Wiest (The Birdcage) Comments to: Sugi Sorensen Last Revised: March 9, 1997